New Ramblings I Jotted Down

Here’s some ramblings I had to jot down.  Hopefully I’ll have the urge to actually turn these notes into an actual story eventually… Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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Sarah suspects she might be pregnant, but she’s supposed to go out with her friend for her friend’s birthday.  She confesses her suspicion to her friend and they go out and buy a test before they go out to the bar. She takes the test and it turns out she’s pregnant, she’s really excited and scared. She tells her friends that she’ll DD since she’s not drinking and still goes out with them. While she’s there she runs into her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend, Valerie, who recently just got back into town after her break-up with her fiancee. She doesn’t really talk to her more than a few words, but she can tell that Valerie wants Chris back. She has a good time, and avoids her boyfriend’s friend that works at the bar, because they’ve never really gotten along. Nothing is going to ruin her night.

She’s so excited to tell Chris, she barely gets any sleep. He had to work from 11pm-7am, so she lets him sleep and doesn’t call him until that afternoon. He doesn’t answer the phone, so she leaves a message for him to come over because she has something she has to tell him. She decides to take another pregnancy test and leaves it in the bathroom to show him when he comes over. She can’t wait to tell him.

(Later that day….)

It was getting later and later and she still hadn’t heard from him. She was starting to get anxious and was worried that something was wrong. Finally, there was a knock on the door. She answered the door (which was weird because he always just came right in) and saw him standing there. She looked beyond him at the strange car in the driveway and was trying to figure out why his friend (the one that didn’t like her and had been at the bar the night before) drove him over to her house. She looked at him and went to give him a hug, but he pushed her away. It was then that she smelled the whiskey on his breath and she knew something was definitely wrong.
He told her that he knew, that his exwife had seen her last night and that he knew what was going on.  Sarah figured someone had seen her purchase the pregnancy test at the grocery store the night before. She was really confused about why he was so upset and why he was drunk. She looked at him and told him she could explain why she didn’t tell him sooner, she had wanted to tell him in person. He turned from her and said something that shocked her. He said that his exgirlfriend had seen her with another man. That she had been drinking and was hanging all over him and had left with him. He then went on to say that his friend had also seen her that night, making out with that same guy in the corner of the bar.

She looked at the man she loved and was speechless. How could this man not trust her? How could he believe that woman over her? Her hand instinctively covered her stomach as if to protect the baby from this news, but she quickly moved it out of the way so he wouldn’t see. She tried to tell him that it wasn’t true, but he was drunk and had apparently already made up his mind about her. It was true that they hadn’t been together very long, but she had thought that their feelings were true. She had honestly thought he was the one. Pain radiated through her body and for a second she worried that this emotional pain would somehow hurt the baby. She tried to get her emotions under control, but her pregnancy hormones made that nearly impossible. She looked at him with tears brimming in her eyes and asked him if he still felt anything for her. He looked at her and told her he hadn’t ever felt anything for her, that she was just someone he had wanted to sleep with. He said she was good, but he was done with her. Other hurtful words came pouring out of his mouth, but she was too upset to really hear any of them. She couldn’t believe this was happening, that this man she had thought she loved was being so hurtful. And on a day that she thought could have been one of the happiest of their life together. He had hinted thoughtout their relationship that he wanted more kids and he wasn’t really concerned if they were married or not when they came.
She decided that he still had a right to know about the baby, even if he didn’t care about the baby’s mother. She composed herself the best she could and then told him they still needed to talk. He looked at her with cold dark eyes and told her there wasn’t anything to talk about. Turning away from her towards his friend’s truck, he told her that on no uncertain terms was she ever to talk to him again. He would go as far as calling the police if she ever came near him. She stood on the porch of her house sobbing as she watched him get into his friends truck and saw them drive away. She was still in shock from what had just happened, and the pain was almost unbearable. She was supposed to pick up her son at his dad’s in a few minutes, but she didn’t think she could drive at that point. She called his dad to have him dropped off and tried her best to get herself together. She didn’t know what she was going to do. She walked in the bathroom and saw the pregnancy test lying on the counter and thought about how just an hour before, she was so excited to tell her boyfriend about the baby. Now the test was just a glaring reminder that she was about to be a single mother to two children.

(Three years down the road, in the grocery store)

Her seven year old son was pushing the cart that held her two year old daughter, because the pushing motion kept her calm in the store. She opened the freezer door to retrieve the frozen pizza that they ate once a week. Most of the time, she was too tired from raising the two kids by herself to cook dinner. She missed cooking, but the exaustion was just too much most of the time. As she closed the freezer door, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Chris standing behind her. She could tell that he could see the shock and surprise in her eyes as she realized who he was. He hadn’t changed much in the years they had been apart. She politely said “Hi” but then started to turn away as memories of their last meeting came flooding back to her.
“I was hoping I would see you again someday. I’ve always wanted to apologize for the way I acted the last time we were together”
She turned back around to face the man she had thought about everytime she looked into her daughter’s face.
“It’s ok, really. It was a long time ago. I don’t even really think about it anymore” she lied, “anyway, I have to get going. The kids are probably fillig the cart with icecream as we speak” She realized her slip as soon as it left her lips.
“Kids? You have more than just your son?” he asked her.
Even if she wanted to, she didn’t think that the grocery store was an appropriate place to tell him that he had a daughter he never knew about.
“Yep, my husband and I have a little girl” she quickly said. She couldn’t believe how much she was lying, she never lied. She felt ashamed and was only half paying attention when he asked how long they had been married.
“Uh, two years. We met at the art museum and just hit it off from there. he’s really nice, a really great dad. He’s tall, and has reddish hair…” she trailed off when she realized he was looking at her left hand that was holding on to the freezer door for dear life. It was the only thing keeping her vertical at this point. She realized at that moment that she didn’t have a wedding ring. Why hadn’t she said that she had her daughter with her boyfriend and not her husband?
Before he could question her about the lack of a wedding ring, she heard a high pitched voice call his name. Valerie, his ex-girlfriend, came up behind him and put her hand on his arm in a way that Sarah couldn’t miss the engagement ring that was on her finger.
“Honey, we have a lot more stuff to get for our engagement party next week. I need you to help me pick out a cake.”
She looked at Sarah, “Oh how rude of me, I didn’t realize you were in the middle of something. Hi there sweetie, I’m Valerie, Chris’s fiancee” She held out her hand to Sarah.
Sarah took her hand and shook it awkwardly. “We’ve actually met a couple of times before, but it was a few years ago, so I could see how you might not remember. Anyway, I was just leaving, I’ll leave you two to your shopping”
Just then, Sarah felt a cart bump into the back of her legs and heard the unmistakable giggles of her children.
“Mommy, Suzie just learned a new word! She said Fart!” Her son Justin could barely hide his glee at the fact that he had obviously just taught his little sister a bad word.
“Hey there Justin, is this your little sister? Did you say her name was Suzie? That’s a very pretty name. It’s actually my mother’s name.”
Her little girl turned at the sound of her name and Sarah saw Chris visibly flinch as he gazed at the little girl’s pretty face. It was a face that looked eerily similar to his own. Sarah had always thought that Suzie resembled her, but now looking at the father and daughter, she could see that her daughter was the spitting image of her dad. Panicked, Sarah grabbed the cart away from her son, “We have to go” she managed to stammer as she steered the cart towards the checkout line, “I forgot… we have a…. thing we have to go to. We’re really, really late. It was good seeing you! And congratulations on your engagement!”
She rushed off with her kids, not even stopping to put back the icecream sandwiches and popsicles her son had no doubt thrown in the cart when she wasn’t paying attention. Her stomach felt heavy and sick. Was she wrong to not have tried harder to contact him after Suzie was born? He had said he never wanted to talk to her again, that he would call the police if she ever tried to contact him. Obviously, she knew he wouldn’t have gone that far, but the message was clear. He had wanted no further communication with her. And, she had to admit, she was so hurt by him not trusting her and the horrible things he had said about her, that she really hadn’t wanted to contact him.

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I equals Missing My Boyfriend 😦

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